Hell's Teeth!

Urgh.... teething. Mother Nature cocked up here so far as I'm concerned, why couldn't babies just be born with teeth? They're born with everything else ready to go, it’s a serious design fault, plus they're programmed to grow their teeth just when you're trying to wean them - it’s all too much! While I'm on design flaws, I also think babies should come with a manual and a diagnostics kit. I am extreeemely lucky with Leo, and I know this, in that he has always slept well and cried very little. Other Mummies don't seem to fare as well so I'm careful not to be over verbal about this, one could be ostracized if not careful. I have even occasionally had to “fake” a bad night with Leo because my endless cheeriness seemed to be grating on the less fortunate Mums.

However – not last night – this was the real thing. Leo goes to bed at 7pm, normally without a peep. I hear him sighing and gurgling over the monitor for about ten minutes and then he’s sparko until at least 6am. Which is great – no complaints there. Last night he went to bed, happily and without protest only to wake me up at cocking midnight?!! Midnight?? Why little boy?! He hasn’t fed during the night for about 2 months so he’s not hungry, could be teeth but he doesn’t have rosy cheeks, could be a code brown on the nappy front (it was at it happens, always a joy but especially during the night – nothing like the business end of a pooey nappy to snap you out of your slumber) basically could be a number of things – hence my request for a diagnostics kit. You have to painstakingly go through a mental check list of what could be vexing your baby… and often you can get through it having ticked off all possibilities – and he/she is still eggy. It is then you start to realise that they are little people and one can’t always pin the grumpiness down to one particular thing. Even his Dad said on the phone this morning “sometimes I don’t sleep well” - so simple – men have a gift for stripping things down to the basics; us birds do tend to over complicate matters sometimes.

At 2am I ended up with Leo in my bed, cuddling him seemed to shut him up so cuddle I did. He went to sleep and I was left in that semi sleep zone where your inner voice waits until you’re just niiiicely dropping off then shouts “DON’T CRUSH THE BABY!!!”  And snaps you back fully awake… I believe I got about three hours sleep. The idea of having your baby in bed with you is lovely isn’t it? snuggled up, listening to them breathing and snuffling, the smell of their hair….. aaahhhh. Its not at all actually – babies are bed hogs; they kick, scratch, slap, blow raspberries, fart and generally are not sweet in the slightest. Colour me grumpy.

All that said – I’m eternally grateful for my 99% of the time chilled out easy baby. And thank God he is – I have zero patience as it is, the poor Mum’s that have nights like that every night and still manage to function have my deepest respect.

Lucky for me sarcasm is currently lost on Leo. By 9.15am this morning he was of course rubbing his tiny eyes and grumbling…. I couldn’t help but launch in to a full scale Basil Fawlty-esque rant……”Ooooohhh I am sorry, are you tired?? Did my king size bed not provide you with every comfort last night? Perhaps you’d like me to sleep on the floor tonight and you can have the whole f**king bed?!!” etc etc. Then the little sod smiled at me and I couldn’t be cross, I keep telling him the “cute”
 thing will only get him out of trouble so many times. I guess he’s got a few more in the bank yet though.

Here’s to a normal nights sleep tonight J